After the initial exhilaration fades just a bit when one
becomes a grandparent, the dreaded decision arises. What shall I be called by this precious
bundle? Everyone asks you this
question. You look back at them, dumbfounded. I personally mulled over the answer prior to
the birth, but then set it aside, figuring that when the baby arrived, I would
look at her face and immediately know the answer. Alas, this did not happen.
You would be surprised at the angst this question causes. There are multiple websites suggesting
modern, cool names for grandparents (mostly for grandmothers- we women seem to
have the most difficulty- but there are some men who grapple with this as
well). You no doubt have come across a Meema, or Gigi, or OG, or Mimi. I think that much of this reluctance to use
traditional names- Grandma or Nana- is because these names conjure up images of
gray-haired, fragile old ladies who spend much of their time knitting and
cooking. This is diametrically opposite
to the reality of today’s grandmother. Most
grandmothers I know are still working or actively retired, they rarely have
gray hair, go to multiple exercise classes, and travel extensively. If they cook or knit, it is with recipes from
exotic websites with interesting and often artisanal ingredients.
I hate to stereotype, and I think that is exactly the
point. There is no one image of today’s
grandparent. We come in many different
sizes and shapes, are mulit-faceted and can’t be placed into a single box or conceptualization. So, we look for a name that can match our
still vibrant personalities and burning interest in the world around us. Not easy to do for a grandparent.
So why, you may ask, did I choose to be called Bubby, the old
Yiddish term for grandmother? It is
certainly the most traditional and “old-fashioned” of all the names I could
have chosen. I have decided to reclaim Bubbie-ness! I actually had a Bubby, my father’s
mother. She came to this country as a teenager,
not speaking the language, alone, on an arduous ship voyage. She married, had 3
children, learned to read and write perfect English, built up a successful
business, and had 3 husbands. She was
not a good cook but loved tradition and made sure to observe all of the
holidays to the best of her ability. With
her wit and determination, I can only imagine what she could have become if she
had the opportunities afforded to women of today.
So, in honor of my grandmother, I am taking back the term
Bubby. I will be a bad-*ss Bubby, fight
for justice, human dignity and equality for all. I will teach this to my granddaughter and
pass down the values and traditions of our heritage. I only hope I can live up to the title Bubby
as have generations of women have before me.
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