Three Village Interfaith Clergy Association

My mind has been thinking about time and how it seems to be different now with all of what is happening. First there is COVID-19 and our stay-in-place semi-lockdown.  For those who have full-time jobs, and even for those who don't, we schedule things around moments in time.  Our lives are routine-based:  when we get up, when we eat, when we work, when we have time for family, when we have time to ourselves, when we sleep, etc.  When our routines are disrupted, many of us feel out of sorts or even lost.  What happened?  Why is this happening?  When is it (routine) coming back?  I've heard that there are many Americans who find it difficult to take a vacation, a real vacation of a week or two, because it takes them away from their work for too long.  As we are gradually allowed to come back to our former lives before COVID-19, perhaps we will have a better sense of time, our old time.  But then again, maybe time will never be the same. ...

One of the most popular features on a local newscast of a small TV station is something rather surprising. It is a feature called- “The Day of the Week”.  Today is…….. Monday!  The station put forth this as a kind of joke at first, but it was so popular that it became a regular daily addition to the morning newscast.  Apparently, so many of us have lost track of what day it is that we need a reminder. During this stay-at-home time, every day seems to blend into the next.  It is truly difficult to remember how many days we have all been quarantined at home, what the date is and what day of the week it is.  Many of us have a few markers that help- jobs that pause for the weekend, celebrations of Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays- special days of worship.  But even with these, the days seem to bleed into each other like a striped shirt washed in hot water. The period that we are in right now in the Jewish calendar is ironically, a time of counting. A time w...

I did not want to write about this virus-time. I did not think I could.  Another piece was in my mind this week, not quite yet taking shape. But when I sat to write, the virus took my attention and I could not wrest it back.   There are useful and funny memes online, and stories of good will and good works, and words of inspiration and comfort. And terrible stories, too.  Mostly at a distance, we have been sharing dance and art and music, facts and opinions, cautionary tales and fairy tales. We miss hugs and doing projects and working and learning together in person. Sometimes we are in a bubble for a while that lets us just be, free of anxiety or fear.  Sometimes we cannot get out of bed.  Sometimes we cannot sleep.  Sometimes we eat all the chocolate and sometimes we eat nothing.  We who are privileged live like this.  We are grateful to the people who work at the jobs we need to have done even in t...

Compassion On the radio a few days ago there was a piece about refugees arriving by boat to the shores of a country that in the past had been welcoming, but this time people were yelling angrily and running into the water to block the boats from landing.   The boats were full and there were children on board. The turmoil and anger in the crowd was audible. I don’t speak their language, but the reporter said that people blocking the boats were shouting “Go back home. We don’t care about the babies.” I was repulsed. I could not stop thinking about it. “We don’t care about the babies.” What would it take for me to say that? For my friends to say that? My neighbors? Horrible thought, that people I know might be moved to yell at desperate people “We don’t care about the babies.” I started to ask myself how that could happen, what it would feel like to push away needy people and shout “I don’t care about the babies.” Please don’t stop reading when I tell you that suddenly my...

"Think of a a time in your life when you experienced a moment of holiness".  This was an exercise often used by a teacher and colleague of mine, Rabbi Bob Abramson at various seminars and gatherings of educators and spiritual leaders.  He purposely left the words 'moment of holiness' undefined, leaving it up to the participants to define for themselves.  I was a participant a few times in this activity, and adopted it myself in various programs and sessions I have led.  It is always powerful and thought provoking. People give widely differing responses to this charge.  Some are simple and elegant; such as the hush of a morning dew, or the smile on a child's face.  Others list crucial moments- birth of child, a wedding, or sunrise at the Grand Canyon.  But all share something in common.  All of these moments help transport the individual out of the ordinary into the extraordinary.  The experience is transformative, if even for a moment, and ...

‘A Memory of Assisi’ Rev. Steven Kim, Pastor of Setauket United Methodist Church In January 2020, my wife and I made a trip to Italy along with another couple who are my colleagues. We stayed the first two nights in Rome and drove to our second destination in the Tuscany area. On our way to the world-wide famous winery region, we stopped by the medieval town of Assisi. It is built on the slope of a mountain which boasts a picturesque scenery. Especially the sunsets, they were breathtakingly beautiful which was a bonus to us.  Our primary goal in Assisi, however, was to trace the remnants of St. Francis. I guess you are familiar with the life story of the saint. We walked about 10 minutes from the mouth of the old town to the Assisi Monastery or Basilica, which is located at the northwestern corner of the town. It consists of three different sanctuaries on three floors. Unlike many other magnificent cathedrals in the country, the Assisi Monastery is not commercialized. Tour...

Journey by Frank Kotowski      In the religion I follow, Spiritualism, there is often talk about each person’s journey to the next world, the World of Spirit, where we go after physical death, since we believe that life continues for us as spiritual beings devoid of physical matter.   It is in this other world, called the Summerland, that our souls reunite in a more intimate way with God, what we call Infinite Spirit or Infinite Intelligence.       This is not to say that there is little emphasis on the life here on this physical plane. Spiritualists strongly believe in and emphasize personal responsibility. We “make our own happiness or unhappiness,” as stated in our 7 th Principle.   Life is to be embraced with joy and courage and interconnectness with all beings and with the Earth itself.   Understanding those of other faiths and beliefs is an ethical and humanitarian necessity.   Spiritual progression and attune...

The first hymn in our Unitarian Universalist hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition, is “May Nothing Evil Cross This Door ."  It is a hymn that easily brings tears to the eyes of those who have found in our sanctuaries a place and a people and a faith we can count on to salve our wounds and salvage the wreck we become, and even save our lives. In that hymn we sing of security, faith, warmth, peace, sacrament and laughter. We ask that these walls, thin as they are, “be strong to keep hate out and hold love in.”  Would you recognize evil if it “crossed the door” of your church or synagogue or masjid? A man with a gun hidden inside a guitar case and the intent to kill hidden in his heart? That happened in a UU congregation I know. A charismatic member of the congregation with a special gift for welcoming newcomers and connecting lonely people who is arrested and convicted of child pornography? That’s happened in a UU congregation I know. Might a man who beat up his wife last...

In my Christian tradition, Epiphany celebrates what we believe to be the manifestation of the divine in the person of Jesus Christ. Coming in the liturgical year on January 6th, we read the story of the wise ones from afar who follow the star to the manger where Jesus was born. As we consider what the revelation of God in our midst means for each of our lives, some congregations distribute “star words” at Epiphany. A variety of words (like abundance, change, courage, delight, exploration, invitation, joy, possibility…) are printed on cut-out paper stars, and people pull a random star out of a basket, selecting a word that is meant to inspire/challenge/guide/provoke them throughout the coming year.   This year was the first time I participated in the relatively new spiritual practice of choosing a star word. To be quite honest, I’m not sure what to expect. And the word that came up for me was “process”—not the most inspiring! But I suspect the idea is to stay open to hearing and ...

Last month, one of our young adult parishioners sent me an e-mail update on her current activities in Arizona.   In addition to getting adjusted to being away from home for the first time and not being able to get home on short notice, she was adjusting to living with virtual strangers.   What helped her transition is her involvement in assisting others in making a better life for themselves.   She is doing that through the organization Habitat for Humanity.   If you are not aware, Habitat for Humanity International is a nonprofit, ecumenical “ministry dedicated to eliminating substandard housing and homelessness worldwide and to making adequate, affordable shelter a matter of conscience and action.   Habitat is founded on the conviction that every man, woman, and child should have a simple, decent, affordable place to live in dignity and safety.”   Volunteers from all walks of life do their part in actually building homes. From a Christian pe...

In my faith, Spiritualism, I often go back to our 7th Principle, which concerns personal responsibility: We affirm the moral responsibility of individuals and that we make our own happiness or unhappiness as we obey or disobey Nature’s physical and spiritual laws. There is a lot to this Principle.  For Spiritualists, it pertains to both your life here on Earth and your spiritual life beyond in the afterlife. But how far does personal responsibility go?  When is there an ethical imperative to give yourself up for another person?  Does this include others who may have very different views from yourself and may even hate you?  No easy answers.      My mind swims with a multitude of scenarios of personal responsibility and what the outcomes might be.  If we make our own happiness as we align with Nature's physical and spiritual laws, which are God's law, does this lesson our painful experiences?  Perhaps not.  Can we both happy and also...

          In this time of New Year I'm looking back on 2019 and forward to 2020. There is much to celebrate. Much to feel grateful for. And there is much to lament and feel sorrow over. We human beings are a mixed bag. What causes me particular pain these days is what I call our growing estrangement from one another as people. The more we break into "tribes" and draw lines in the sand, the less able we are to see one another as human beings like ourselves. One way that this estrangement shows up is that we as a society and as individuals increasingly  justify our own regrettable actions by blaming other people. The sense of mutuality in relationship that connects us is eroding as we take less and less responsibility for our part in any interactions. One way I can see to counteract that tendency is through a practice of apology. Apology:  a regretful acknowledgment of error, offense or failure.           Apologies well done are...

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five: 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your...

After the initial exhilaration fades just a bit when one becomes a grandparent, the dreaded decision arises.   What shall I be called by this precious bundle?   Everyone asks you this question.   You look back at them, dumbfounded.   I personally mulled over the answer prior to the birth, but then set it aside, figuring that when the baby arrived, I would look at her face and immediately know the answer.   Alas, this did not happen.   You would be surprised at the angst this question causes.   There are multiple websites suggesting modern, cool names for grandparents (mostly for grandmothers- we women seem to have the most difficulty- but there are some men who grapple with this as well). You no doubt have come across a Meema, or Gigi, or OG, or Mimi.   I think that much of this reluctance to use traditional names- Grandma or Nana- is because these names conjure up images of gray-haired, fragile old ladies who spend much of their time knitti...

I like Christmas.  There, I said it.  This may be surprising for some people to hear from a rabbi, and it may be misinterpreted by others.  But it's true.  I like the feeling of this time of year.  I enjoy the songs, the lights, watching Charlie Brown and the Grinch, and especially the sense of good will that exists. I also like Chanukkah -- the gathering of family and friends, eating latkes (fried potato pancakes), lighting the Chanukkah menorah (9-branched candelabrum), playing dreidel (a spinning top game), and feeling a sense of warmth and light in the coldest, darkest time of year. But my enjoyment of both holidays does not mean that I see them in the same way.   It does not mean that I view Chanukkah as the Jewish Christmas.   While enjoying aspects of both holidays, I am keenly aware of the need for both Christians and Jews to maintain a distinction between the two holidays, while also embracing a healthy respect for and appreciation o...